Good Lord maaaaan!!!! Last night my sister went to the Laundromat and I went over to the house to watch my nieces. Hey, it was a lil’ after 8, so I figured they’d be toned down from being up all day. Boy was I wrong!!!! The minute I walked in the door I heard hollerin’ and screamin’. Now, keep in mind that we’re talkin’ about three girls ages 3, 2 & 1. (see Uncle Greg – Jan. 6, 2005) Yes, I know… I wonder how my sister does it. So I take off my coat, flick the channel to American Idol and prepare to eat my Subway sandwich I had bought only a few minutes earlier. My sister jets outta the house and hollers “I’ll be back”. I yelled back “I hope you weren’t just gonna leave on a road trip and not tell me” So as soon as she closes the door, my oldest niece walks over to me and eyes my sandwich, “Uncle Greg, can I have some”. Now of course I said, “Didn’t y’all eat dinner?” She looks at me and says “No”. Now I don’t believe this for a sec, but she’s rubbing her tummy and has this really sad face. So before I even took a bite of the sandwich, I let her take one. Next thing you know, tomatoes and lettuce is falling on the carpet and she’s holding out her hand for more. So, for the next 10 minutes I broke off lil’ bits of my sandwich for her and the minute she turned her back, I gobbled the rest of it down. She walked back over to me, looked me dead in the face with this mean look, then went back to the computer. My youngest niece was standing in her room and hollering “Greg… Greg… Greg”. I walked over to the room where she was contrained by the plastic gate and lifted her over to the other side. Now the 2 year old looked at me as if to say “Oh, they can be in the living room with you, but I can’t”.
I go sit back down on the couch and try to watch American Idol. The oldest is hollering for me to come help her play some Veggie Tales game on the computer. The 2 year old is jumping up and down on the bed and screaming like a wild possum. The youngest is following me around everywhere I go. I got tired of walking back and forth, so I opened the doors that connected the bedroom with the living room and dining room so that they wouldn’t have to call me to come and get them… or hurt themselves climbing over the gate. The next 20 minutes was filled with complete craziness. They were running all over the house. They were standing up on the dining room chairs. The 2 year old kept playing with the phone and trying to dial out. I think I said the words “No” or “Stop” about a hundred times in that short time period. So I went back to the bedroom and put on some kiddie tape thinking that it would get them interested enough to stop wildin’ out… wrong!!! So I did what any other good uncle would do, I went back to the couch and finished watching American Idol. Next thing ya know I’m waking up with my youngest niece tapping me on my knee. I dunno how long I was sleep, but it was long enough. About 2 minutes later my sister comes back from the Laundromat and maaan was I happy to see her. I got up, kissed those babies good-bye and grabbed my coat. I looked at my sister as I walked outta the door and said to her “I dunno how you do it”. I went home, threw the work clothes off and fixed myself a nice drink.