Misadventures of Klutzy McKlutz

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I’ve been gone for a sec, but as always the world continues to turn. I have a ton of things on my mind to write about, but I decided to take a break from doing so. I had a wonderful Thanksgiving spending time with my fiancee, both of our families and close friends. For those of you who gave my sweet potato recipe a shot, I hope you thoroughly enjoyed the pies. As for myself, I need to hit the gym real quick and shed these pounds I picked up eating all that turkey and a rack of sweets. However, my ability to exercise will be hindered by the fact that I must allow my left foot to heal. Yes, the clumsy kid has again found another way to injure himself. In my previous installment of Stupid Ways You’ve Injured Yourself back in May, I spoke of some of the strange ways that I’ve hurt myself. Well, this latest incident might take the cake.

It was Monday morning the 20th of November and the clock read 12:13am. I was headed to bed and realized that I had forgotten to take out the trash. The trash man usually comes by at 6am and I don’t usually get up until 7am, therefore I had to make sure the trash was at the corner. So I grabbed all the trashcans in the house and combined them all into one large bag. I quickly ran outside barefoot in my pajamas (aka basketball shorts and t-shirt) into the bitter cold and threw the bag to the corner. The toss was perfect as the bag landed right on top of the other bags already placed there by my neighbors. I turned around to run back up the concrete steps of my house and I lost my balance. In the process my left foot crashed into the step with full impact. I felt pain immediately and looked down at my foot. I had shattered the big toe nail on my left foot. My toe nail was barely intact with my skin and sticking straight up. That loud noise you heard is the screaming I was doing on the inside while remaining totally calm and quiet on the outside. Needless to say, it was bleeding profusely. I continued on into the house and walked into the bathroom outside the foyer. I ran ice cold water in the sink and stuck my foot into the water for a few minutes. While my foot soaked I quickly replayed the nonsense that had just occurred.

I grabbed enough paper towels to wrap my toe and hopped upstairs to my bedroom. I located some gauze underneath my bathroom counter, wrapped my foot and got dressed. I the drove myself to the ER at the Veteran’s Hospital. There were other hospitals close by, but the VA in DC was my best option for immediate treatment. I arrived there about 20 minutes later and was lucky to find that there was only one other patient in the ER. For the next 2 hours, the doctors took my vital signs and x-rayed my left foot. All went well with the x-rays which confirmed that nothing had been broken. However, there remained the issue of the toe nail on my left foot. After conversing with the medical personnel in the ER, I agreed to allow them to remove it. Hell, 80% of it was detached from the skin and that was really the only option at the time anyway. I sat there patiently as they gave me a basin of Betadine to soak my foot in. 30 minutes later the good doc walked in the room with forceps and some ‘other’ tools to initiate the removal.

Folks, I’ve experienced some pain… but none like this. I mean, this was like having a wisdom tooth removed with no Novocaine. Those jokers didn’t even give me a shot of pain medicine or nothing. I laid there on the table as the felt the doctor tug and cut, tug and cut, tug and cut. He reminded me not to look and I assured him that I had no intention of looking downward. I was too busy breathing hard, biting the strings on my hoodie and clenching my fists. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally got it off. Of course the curiosity seeker in me had to look at my toe. Goooood Lawd!!!!!!!!!! It was gone. I took a quick cameraphone pic of it, but I don’t want anyone to get sick… so I won’t post it. There was nothing left to my toe but skin, the nail was completely gone. The nursing assistant came in and bandaged it up and then gave me a shot of Morphine in my hind parts. The relief from the shot felt good, but why the hell did they wait til after the procedure to give me the shot???? I slept for a few hours and then was given a bag full of gauze, triple antibiotic ointment and some medical tape so I could changed the dressings daily at home. They also gave me a medpack of Percocet and some oral antibiotics.

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So to make a long story short, I’ve been walking (aka limping) around for the past week and a half in a moderate amount of pain. I’ve also been wearing this Post Op Shoe that was provided to me at the hospital. I’m just now getting to the point where I can actually touch my toe without a great deal of pain, however there is still some discomfort. I still can’t put a shoe on the foot without pain though. Hopefully in the next week or so, the skin will heal over and allow me to do so. They say that it’s likely to take 9-12 months for the toenail to grow back completely. That’s a long time maaaaaaaaaaaan. I do have this little toe cover (looks like a skullcap for a toe) that I’ll wear for the next few weeks because it’s going to be sensitive to the touch for a while. For now, I’ve accepted the nicknames that people have branded me with. I’ve heard Hop-A-Long a few times and one guy at the job had the nerve to do a James Brown dance and holler out “Get on the good foot”. That’s aiiiight though, I’m aware of my uncoordinated self and accepted it back when I was a teenager. See The Can’t Dance Kid. I’m just hoping that this thing heals fast. Trying to take showers with a Ziploc bag or rubber glove on my foot is getting tiresome… lol.

Moral of the story is… If you’re clumsy, don’t walk outside barefoot.

Peace-N-Love

G. Mo

G. Mo’s Slammin’ Sweet Potato Pie

Well, it’s the time of year again folks where I whip out the chef hat and go to work. I mentioned in previous blogs about my love for baking sweet potato pies. I’ve been shocked at them number of emails that I’ve received inquiring about my recipe. Now, a good number of you have used the blog search function and located the blog and recipe that I posted about a year ago. The rest of the folks just want me to make things easier for them. So I’ll be nice and do it… this time. I changed up a few things on the recipe that I experimented with, but nothing major. I found the texture of the pie was better with the small changes. I added a few more eggs and cut back on the butter/margarine slightly. Also, the info on how to do the pie crusts was left out last year, so I included that as well.

I baked a few already last week, but I’ll definitely be in the kitchen for a good part of the next week hooking up more pies. Ladies, don’t be afraid to tell your family and friends that you got this recipe from a man. Brothas can work it out in the kitchen as well. Fellas who shy away from the kitchen, go on and give this one a shot. Trust me when I tell ya, you might earn some cool points if you follow the instructions as I’ve listed. Regardless whether male or female, you’re gonna have folks trying to get at you to find out the recipe for this one. I can honestly say that I’ve never had one person complain or give me a bad review on this. In fact, I have plenty of testimonials over the past few years from those who’ve made pies from this recipe and loved it.

This has always been a hobby of mine. I used to only make pies for myself and that was it. It wasn’t until I brought a pie to work for one of those holiday potlucks that I realized that other people really enjoyed them too. It was actually a chef at the hotel I was engineering at, who told me I could make money selling them. He was right, I’ve done pretty well the past 5 years. But I’m not a stingy person and can’t make all the pies. So I figured I’d share. Anyway, here it is again.

G. Mo’s Slammin’ Sweet Potato Pie

2 cups cooked and mashed sweet potatoes
4 eggs
1/2 cup evaporated milk
1 cup light or dark brown sugar… your preference
1/2 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon (or more… *wink*) rum or Navan vanilla cognac (or for the non-drinkers, use Rum flavoring or Rum extract)
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
3 tablespoons melted butter/margarine
1 unbaked deep dish pie crust

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First off, you must boil the potatoes. I didn’t mention that before because it seemed like a no-brainer, but everyone wasn’t able to decipher the fact that this is the FIRST step.

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After the potatoes are cooked and you’ve peeled them, throw them in a bowl and mixed them up, then you go ahead to the next step.

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Pre-heat cha oven to like 400-425 degrees.

Pie crust preparation: take 1/2 cup of brown sugar and stick of margarine/butter and microwave together… layer the pie shell with the melted brown sugary mix and place in oven for 10 minutes at 350 or until crust browns. Do not worry about the crust bubbling, it’s going to do that. Whatever you do, do not pop it!!!!!

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Mix the sweet potatoes, milk, sugars, cinnamon, nutmeg, eggs, butter/margarine, vanilla, liquor and lemon juice until it gets real smooth. Then pour it into the pie shell.

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Bake for about 15 minutes at 400-425, then reduce heat to 300 and bake for about 45 minutes or until the filling is firm.

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Take it from the oven and allow to cool for about 15 minutes

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Grab some Cool Whip, vanilla ice cream or whatever you like to add and get’cha eat on!!!!


Mama used to SING!!!!

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I suppose you could say I’m in a pretty good mood today. Aside from an abundance of recent doctor bills, a lil’ bit of neck pain and the usual feeling of not wanting to be at work, I’m good. I’m sitting here at my desk whistling a song. My co-workers have told me that when I hum and whistle it’s usually an indication that I’m not in a bad mood. I need to work on that a lil’ bit. I can’t be fussing at folks or give blank stares and then sit down in my office whistling the theme from Andy Griffith. Anyway, the song I was whistling today is a song that I used to hear my mom sing all the time. It’s Natalie Cole’s “I’ve Got Love On My Mind”. I was suddenly taken back to the late 70’s when I was a kid and Ma used to play her records and sing along to them.

It didn’t matter whether Ma was in the kitchen cooking, cleaning the house or just relaxing. Ma would take that vinyl disc from the album jacket and place it in the record player. I remember because I always got excited seeing the arm of the record player magically move to the precise location on the edge of the record and start playing. It was so thrilling to me. I could never figure out how so much music could be contained in those small grooves. I’d even take the albums out and look at them closely with the magnifying glass that I got inside of one of those sugar cereals.

Anyway, I remember seeing how happy Ma would get as she sang along with her favorite artists. Off the top of my head I can name a few of them, along with some of the songs I recollect her playing and singing along with. Ma must’ve had full albums of these because I remember more than a few songs from these artists.

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Natalie Cole

  • I’ve Got Love On My Mind
  • This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)
  • Inseparable
  • Our Love
  • I Can’t Say No
  • Sophisticated Lady

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The O’Jays

  • I Love Music
  • Darlin’ Darlin’ Baby (Sweet, Tender, Love)
  • Use Ta Be My Girl
  • Back Stabbers
  • Love Train
  • For The Love Of Money
  • Give The People What They Want
  • Family Reunion

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The Spinners

  • The Rubberband Man
  • Working My Way Back To You
  • Sadie
  • I’ll Be Around
  • Could It Be I’m Falling In Love

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Peaches & Herb

  • Shake Your Groove Thing
  • We’ve Got Love
  • Reunited

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Lou Rawls

  • Groovy People
  • You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine

Now she might’ve been full albums or even 45’s of these because I tend to just recall one primary song from these artists.

  • Lean On Me – Melba Moore
  • Best Of My Love – Emotions
  • Hollywood – Rufus & Chaka Khan
  • (Every time I Turn Around) Back In Love Again – LTD w/Jeffrey Osbourne
  • Car Wash – Rose Royce (Car Wash Soundtrack)
  • Let’s Do It Again – Staple Singers (Let’s Do It Again soundtrack)
  • Too Much, Too Little, Too Late – Johnny Mathis & Deniece Williams
  • You Don’t Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show) – Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.

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I recall all of these songs as well as hits from other artists including Earth, Wind & Fire, Stevie Wonder, The Commodores, Marvin Gaye, Isley Brothers, Ohio Players, Al Green, The Whispers, Aretha Franklin, Teddy Pendergrass, Rick James, Ashford & Simpson, Gladys Knight & The Pips, The Temptations, Roberta Flack & of course James Brown.

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I’m sure there are more songs and/or artists that I have forgotten, but those are the main ones that have remained with me since those younger years. Ma sang with so much joy and emotion, that I couldn’t help but to be happy and smile too. Hold up, I do remember one song that she played that used to scare me though. When she played this song, I thought it was a woman crying. Wanna know what that song was??? It was Reasons by Earth, Wind & Fire. I’m sorry, but you couldn’t have told me back then that Philip Bailey wasn’t a woman singing a sad song. I used to go back in my room and turn the TV up loud so I wouldn’t have to hear that song.

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Now ya know, even the kid had his favorites too. Ma had two 45’s of my favorite songs. I don’t remember if she had them prior or bought them because I liked those songs. The two songs were Kung Fu Fighting by Carl Douglas and the Welcome Back Kotter theme song by John Sebastian. My favorite album was Destiny by the Jackson 5. I would play the two aforementioned songs all day long, as well as the Jacksons on my record player. Just imagine me singing “Don’t blame it on sunshine, Don’t blame it on moonlight, Don’t blame it on good times, Blame it on the boogie”, while in my bedroom pretending to be Dr. J as I dunked my Nerf basketball over on the basket hanging over the door. My other favorite song on that album was Shake Your Body. I’d be hollering “Let’s dance, Let’s shout, Shake you body down to the ground” while emulating Tony Dorsett running into the end zone for the Cowboys.

Anyway, I still get a warm feeling when Ma sings. The majority of her singing over the past number of years has been in the church where she’s standing at the pulpit singing for service or maybe a special program. The excitement of the proud son is still there. There’s just a certain joy I get from seeing the happy expressions that Ma makes when she sings. Sometimes I’m overcome to the point where I’ll get a little teary eyed as I smile. Unfortunately, (fortunately for those who love their eardrums) the singing vibes weren’t passed down to me. I can’t carry a tune to save my life. I mean, I don’t even sing in the shower. I’ll keep doing what I do now and that’s engineer, run the mixing boards and do sound for people who do sing. Being in the shadows and making those that do sing sound real good, has always been my forte.

You ever sit back and reminisce on the songs that your mom sang when you were a kid? If so, what were some of the tunes that you remember? Those are some wonderful moments aren’t they?

Peace-N-Love

G.Mo

Lebron is coming to town

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Those of y’all who know me are aware that I stay on top of all the concerts and sporting events going on in the DC area. Well, I’ve got some very, very good seats for the first of two games in which Lebron James will be making an appearance in the Chocolate City. The first being this upcoming Saturday. If you recall, it was the Cavaliers that sent the Wizards home during the playoffs last season. The Cavs also beat the Wiz on opening night of this season. Gilbert Arenas and the rest of the squad owe Lebron and the Cavs big time!!! If you wanna go to the game, have a friend, co-worker, neighbor or drinking partner who’s a big basketball fan or happen to be one of those folks who love the new Lebron commercials so much that you’ve just gotta see him in person, hit me via email or my ticket hustle hotline 202-609-8607.

Wizards vs Cavaliers
Verizon Center
Saturday November 18, 7pm


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Section 119 – Row B
Lower Level behind Cavaliers bench


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Section 200 – Row C
Dead Center Court on the Club Level


Oh yeah, let’s make one thing clear regarding this process. I have hook-ups and can get pretty much anything that you’re looking for as far as tickets for events go. The face value on these tickets are over $100 per ticket. Face value is what you would pay at the Ticketmaster box office, if the box office had these tickets… which they don’t. If you survey the ticket brokers in the DC area, you’ll find that they’re charging at least $220 per ticket. I’m not ticket broker aiiiight, so I’m not looking to get that much. I’m just a cat that has own bills to pay, yet still tries to look out for folks. Plus, by not selling them on eBay or StubHub (this time), the money I’m saving on ad placement will be passed onto you. So, make me a decent offer on the tickets and you’ll be going to the game.

Peace-N-Love
G.Mo

Has anyone ever told you…

that you resemble (name of athlete/entertainer/well known person)????

From time to time folks will stop me and tell me that I look like someone. They’ll throw out the name of a person who’s in the public spotlight. More often than not, they’ll usually just tell me that I resemble a cousin, the brother of a close friend, an ex classmate, their barber or maybe some guy met one day in the past. I sat down and came up with the names that I tend to hear the most. By most I mean at least 10 times in my life. Now of course, I don’t think that I look like any of these men. However I suppose that if such a high number of people have mentioned the same names, I’d have some fun. I’m going to take a moment to seek the opinion of those who read this blog as to who they think I most resemble. For starters, I’ve included a pic collage of myself in a variety of different shots. Then I’ve listed the people that I’m most compared to along with their pics. All of the pics below are small versions and can be enlarged with the just the click of the mouse.

The four men listed below are the ones which I’m compared to the most.

#1 – NBA Coach Byron Scott

#2 – Actor Duane Martin

#3 – Rap Artist Doug E. Fresh

#4 – Rap Artist AZ

Now the men shown below are the ones that one or two people mentioned and compared me to. All of these really made me scratch my head. I figured that I’d include them just to show just how blind some folks can be. I don’t look remotely close to any of these cats. In fact, I felt insulted when someone told me that I looked like KRS-ONE. My nose might be a lil’ bit big, but not drive a tractor trailer through big!!!

#1 – Rap Artist KRS-ONE

#2 – Clothing Designer Carl Williams (aka Karl Kani)

#3 – R&B Artist Keith Sweat

#4 – NBA player Derek Fisher

oh yeah… why not add add a lot more humor to this whole post???

I found an old pic that I took back when I was rockin’ an S-Curl back in the late 80’s and put it next to an old pic of Doug E. Fresh from the mid 80’s when he was with the Get Fresh Crew. Directly underneath those pics that is an actual photo (although blurry) that I took with Doug at a Def Jam party back in NYC in ’96. Even that night a lot of folks were asking me (and him) if we were related….. lol.

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That’s it folks.

What celebrity or well known person do folks compare you to or always tend to say that you look like? Not everyone you’re compared to makes you smile. Some folks mentioned might make you want to cuss someone out the minute the say you look like that individual. Go ahead and give the good ones and the bad ones alike.

Peace-N-Love

G.Mo

Damn!…Damn!…Dammnnnn!

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Saturday night I went to Verizon Center to check out my Celtics against the Wizards. Sunday afternoon I went to FedEx Field to check out my Cowboys against the Redskins. This is the first time I’ve seen my two favorite teams play on back to back days. This was supposed to have been a weekend full of exciting memories. However, both of my teams lost. The Celtics loss I can deal with. The Cowboys loss has me numb. The one thing I continue to see in my head is that scene from Good Times, where Florida slammed down the punch bowl and hollered that phrase we all remember. That’s how I feel right now. What else is there for me to say on a Monday morning?

EDIT: 11:00am – What is this maaaan!!!!!?? Huh??

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From day one I didn’t like the dude. (See: Oh No… Not T.O.!!!!! ) My disdain for him has only increased in the past 24 hours. Every player in the locker room should’ve thrown a tantrum as he would’ve in that situation had the ball be overthrown by Romo. No, that one play did not cost us the game. However, it is the one the sticks out in my head the most.

Somewhere in Philadelphia a brotha named Donovan McNabb is smiling.

Terrell Owens needs to keep his mouth shut!!!! Seriously…..

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Abstract thoughts

Nothing real specific to write about today, just a rack of things going through my head

Dumb questions that people ask

Example #1

*house phone rings*

Me: Hello
Other person: Wasssup man… where you at?
Me: Fool… you just called me in the house!

Example #2

I’ve been wolfin’ all week and decided to trim the goatee and moustache on Thursday night. Friday morning I walk into the office.

Co-worker: You shaved?

Example #3

Person: Where you work at?
Me: (gives name of employer)
Person: What do you do there?
Me: (gives job title)
Person: Y’all hiring?
Me: I dunno, I don’t work in HR

Wednesday Why’s???

-Why am I all of a sudden in love with the new Snuggle Exhilarations White Lavender & Sandalwood fabric softener? I’m tellin’ you, that stuff makes laundry smell good than a mug!!! (<-old school phrase) I’ve been stuck on Downy’s Simple Pleasures Vanilla and Lavender for about a year now, but I’m about to make a permanent switch.

-Why is it that now I’m starting to eat all the things I’ve hated and refused to eat since I was a kid? I’m making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at least 3 times a week. I make one with grape jelly and the other with strawberry preserves, and tear em up with a tall glass of milk. I’m also taking cans of tuna fish and mixing it up with mayonnaise and relish and eating that with crackers and tomato slices sprinkled with season salt.

-Why is it so easy for me to get tickets for whatever event I want to get tickets for, but getting a parking pass for the garage at Verizon Center or the lot of FedEx Field seem so difficult? My hook-up man is easy to deal with when we’re talking tickets, but he’s holding parking passes like hostages. It’s easier for me to get another set of tickets, than it is for me to get a spot to park my car on game day.

-Why am I still going to sporting good stores looking for Celtics and Cowboys gear to wear for the games this weekend… cuz the stuff I have in my closet is too small or they’re items I wore at previous games where my teams lost. It seems that every time I wear my Dorsett throwback jersey, the Cowboys lose. I’m not putting that thing on this Sunday when we go to the game. Pretty much the same thing with the Celtics gear. When I wear my Len Bias throwback jersey or my white Celtics warm-up shirt, they lose. I don’t wish to see them lose to the Wizards on Saturday night, so I’ve gotta get some new stuff. Call me superstitious I guess.

– Why did most of the kids who came to my door to get some candy last night have wack costumes? What happened to the days of creative costumes for kids. I remember when I did trick-or-treat Ma at least dressed me for the occasion. These kids today throw on a jersey and decide to be the player whose name is on the back or they wear jeans and a t-shirt with a pointed hat and call themselves witches. No creativity at all. Furthermore, most of them were greedy as hell talkin’ bout “Can I have some more candy” after I gave them a handful of mini Snickers bars.

– Why do I have all these KitKat and Snickers bars in my briefcase and at my desk knowing good and well that I get migraines from eating chocolate? I suppose that’s why I have bottles of Excedrin in my briefcase and on my desk as well.

– Why do wedding photographers charge and arm and a leg? Good Lord!!!! I mean, they want everything but your firstborn child. I want beautiful photographs of our ceremony and reception like everybody else does, but I could almost buy a new car for the prices that some of these jokers are charging. I’m convinced that there’s a monopoly out there among photographers. They probably meet once a month and discuss who they gouged the previous month. It’s crazy!!!

– Why did YouTube ban me? Those suckers disabled my account. Why you ask? They did it because I posted clips from the Redskins-Eagles game on Monday Night Football 4 years ago. The clips were of ME!!!! One was where I was celebrating a touchdown and the other was where I was standing looking confused when the cops sprayed pepper spray on the crowd after a fight broke out in the stands. The said that the material was property of the NFL and thus my posting was infringing upon their copyright. Screw em then. I still got the clips and I’ll just continue to link them from my own site anyway.

– Why am I lovin’ the new Lebron James commercials featuring The Lebrons??? I can’t even front, those joints are funny. Ha ha

Funny Pics

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I really wonder what ABC7’s Marc Brown was thinking when he saw this flash up on the screen while he was reporting the story. The resemblance is uncanny… ha ha.

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Although a big time Cowboys fan, I’m still not a big Terrell Owens supporter. This pic is from the game in Philly when the ‘Boys lost to the Eagles earlier last month. He doesn’t look too happy does he? The pic is still funny as hell to me.

That’s all I got… y’all enjoy your day

G.Mo