In Disguise

Okay, so folks are wondering why I’m grabbing all these USA Today newspapers today. Well, I was out of the office on Friday cuz of the surgery and last Friday’s paper was the one that I appeared in… well sorta. A few weeks ago the photographer for the paper came past my desk and asked me and my co-workers to assist him with a shoot related to sports fans. He had masks for 4 NFL teams, Steelers, Dolphins, Eagles & Patriots. I donned this Philadelphia Eagles mask and allowed myself to be photographed. Now, this is definitely a huge error in judgment for a Dallas Cowboys fan such as myself, but I said “What the hell?” It’s not like I wasn’t caught on national TV a few years ago rockin’ a Randall Cunningham throwback jersey.

If you’re not too scared of what you see, you can always click the pick for a LARGER view of my ugly face… lol

Playing the field for holiday gifts

by Joan Murphy; Michael Hiestand Dec 17 ’04

Shopping for the football fan who has everything? Looking for new ways to cheer on your team? Today’s fan gear goes far beyond T-shirts with team logos and stadium blankets. Maybe too far. USA TODAY’s Joan Murphy and Michael Hiestand take a look at what’s hot for 21st-century fans:

Gain impressive yardage

Sprinklers can make statements. At least they can if they’re officially licensed NFL or college helmets ($59.99) you can hook up to a hose and place on your front lawn. Other outdoor products from Team Sports America are meant to let everybody know where you stand: the hammock, $120, and combination clock- thermometer, $29.99. Both sport team logos. Find them at nflyardline.com.

Make your own replays

Bushnell’s digital camera binoculars let you believe your own eyes. The combination of 8×32 binoculars and high-resolution digital/video camera lets you watch games while you’re actually creating your own instant replays. Buy it for Audubon’s Christmas Bird Count (now through Jan. 5). Available at retail stores for about $400.

On the hot seat

Take care of your derriere, and it will take care of you. Vesture’s Lava Buns heated seat cushions could make those games at Green Bay and New England bearable. Heats in a microwave in five minutes; stays warm for up to eight hours, $29.95.

Throw in the towel or ball

Timeout Towels (not pictured) has your favorite sport immortalized in 60-inch circular, 100% cotton terrycloth towels, including soccer, basketball and baseball. They sell for $21.95. Available at timeouttowels.com. “I thought about it one day at the beach,” says Kim Kology of Timeout Towels. “I didn’t want to keep moving my towel with the sun.” Or you can toss the Wilson GST ball that, instead of using traditional laces, has leather laces meant to be more easily gripped, $69.99.

Show your true colors

Once you actually see the products at tailgatetown.com, they’re all so obvious. Of course you need a $47.50 Wincraft NFL Snack Helmet meant to dispense chips and dip. The $18.99 Sports Fan Face (above), rubber masks in team colors, means you can quit trying to hide your emotions. And the $22.50 Tailgate Party Pack, featuring your team’s name and logo on plastic cups, plates, napkins and cutlery, lets everyone know you sweat the details.

Getting sauced

You can have plain hot. Or you can have officially licensed hot sauce with your alma mater’s logo. Hot Sauce Harry’s (hotsauceharrys.com) offers such sauces and chili kits, priced $4.95 to $19.95 for fans ready to risk heartburn to show their colors. The $89.99 Wincraft Keg-a-Que resembles a beer keg. But it’s a barbecue. Now scientists need to invent a device that serves both functions.

For the two-faced fan

The $16 Franklin Sports NFL Rally Cap (above) looks normal in front but reverses to produce a ghoulish mask that covers your face. It’s about time. Available at franklinsports.com.

Your team logo in meat

For the fans who want to grill their school logo into their food, there are Fan Brands’ $14.95 grilling accessories (not pictured) at fan-brands.com. The company believes “grilling is a contact sport.”

Dance to your cooler

Sterling Store’s Chillin’ Sounds (not pictured) looks like a big radio, but that’s only half the story. Undo the latches, and it’s a cooler. $59.95 plus shipping, at sterlingstore.com.

Rejuvenated

Aiiight… after a long, drawn out weekend I’m back to work. I actually wanted to come back to work cuz sitting up in the house was drivin’ me crazy!!!!! But maaaaan… it’s like an iceberg outside. I mean it’s really freezin’!!! I went to Mickey Deez (a doctor’s no-no) to get a California Chicken cobb salad (see… I can eat healthy) and I pushed the button for my window to go down and that joint didn’t budge. It didn’t even move. You’d a thought that my battery was dead or somethin’. So I had to open the door to place my order. The wind was blowing so hard that the door almost came off. So I get up to the window to pay and the chic at the window looks at me like I’m crazy when I open the door to hand her the cash. I dunno what she said in Spanish to the other cashier, but I think they were clowning me.

Of course, being that I was at home ’resting’, I didn’t even get a start on my Christmas shopping. I’m not really in the spirit anyway, but I always get something for my immediate family members. I figure I’ll get a few gift cards and some other things and try not to be too much of a Grinch. Right at this moment my Moms is chillin’ somewhere in ATL. She jumped on a plane yesterday morning and got the hell outta dodge. I don’t blame her cuz she needed a get-away from home for a while. Mom always gives her time and energy to everybody else, but never seems to take a moment for herself. I’m actually glad that she decided to be selfish and roll out. Now, I just gotta figure out what to get her for Christmas.

Although not really in the Christmas spirit, I’m still looking forward to this weekend. My ace partner is flyin’ in to DC from LA tomorrow and I know we’re gonna kick it for a few days. I aint seen my man in a minute and it’ll be good to have him back in the area for the holidays. I know he’s hatin’ the west coast, so we gotta at least hit up summa our old stompin’ ground spots while he’s in town. There’s a helluva lotta sports to watch also. Even though my Cowboys have been stinkin’ up the joint, I look forward to them kickin’ the ‘Skins down as they always do. That would be a Christmas present in itself. They already got em once this season, I just need em to take those chumps out for the last time. The last thing I wanna hear next week is those punk ‘Skins fans all up in my ear talkin’ a rack of BS. For all that trash I talked for the past few months after Dallas won here in DC, I know that I’mma have to cut my cell phone off if my ‘Boys don’t pull it out.

zzz…zzz…zzz…zzz

Maaaaaaaaaan… I’ve never had so much sleep in my life. Between laying up in the bed, watchin’ TV and doing things online, my life has been very unexciting. I did try to watch a few movies, but every single time I got a lil’ bit comfotable in the bed, I ended up asleep again. I’ve been outside all of 3 times since I’ve gotten outta the hospital. It is jive like cold out there, but having cabin fever is like torture. I’m sitting here contemplating what I’m gonna do tonight and then I look down at these scars on my stomach that still haven’t healed all the way and I realize that I’ll probably be right up in this joint. I love ESPN, but I’ve seen enough sports news and NFL Primetime to drive myself crazy. As I glance towards the TV, I realize that Judge Mathis is back on AGAIN!!!! I mean…this is ridiculous. I haven’t even eaten much of anything today… a bowl of Fruity Pebbles and some yogurt. I dunno… don’t have much of an apetite. I guess I’ll just sit back and watch the NBA games on the tube tonight and maybe eat a few snacks. I sure hope that tomorrow will bring a lil’ bit more excitement than my entire week has been…

Boredom

yeah… I’m still at home recovering from this surgery. I’m gettin’ betta though!!! I’ve graduated from ‘eating’ a liquid diet to chicken soup and crackers to eating normally again. Well sorta normal. I’ve been advised not to eat (in the doctor’s own words) greasy and spicy foods. Damn there’s goes that jerk chicken I’ve been craving. Anyway, I’ve been outta the house once since Monday and it’s cold as a muhfukka outside. My black azz tried to drive to the store (bad move) and didn’t have enough strength to get outta the parking lot. It’s amazing how much your stomach can affect the rest of your body. As soon as I sat in the car and put my foot on the brake, a sharp pain went up into my abdomen. Of course not to be denied I continued to try to drive and within a few minutes my black azz was back in the crib.

Ya know… I’m bored as HELL!!!!!! If I see another Judge TV show, I’mma lose my damn mind!!!!! Judge Mathis, Judge Judy, Judge Hatchett, Texas Court, Peoples Court, Divorce Court, Judge Joe Brown… gotdayummmmm!!!!! This shit is ridiculous. Maury Povich aint no betta… all this “Are you the babies father” shit is just as ignorant. Imagine all these women lettin’ nigguhs all up in em and they aint gotta clue who that damn father is…. that’s just triflin’!!!! I think I’mma sit back and watch the DVD of What’s Happening – Second Season. Then I can laugh at Raj, Rerun, Dee and hear Dwayne singin’ “Comma Comma Comma Comma Ca Comma“. I need to laugh even though it does hurt my stomach when I laugh too hard.

The job sent me this big azz ‘Get Well’ basket of fruit, cheese (can’t eat) and chocolate (can’t eat). I’ve gotten a number of emails and cards from folks at the office and I’m appreciative.

The Healing


Posted by Hello

Aiight… I’m back home after bring released from hospital this morning. Surgery was successful, but I’m in a great deal of pain. I’ve got 4 locations on my stomach where the doctor made incisions. The biggest incision is in my navel. Yeah, the doc basically drilled a hole in my belly button. I am officially without a gall bladder now as it was removed during the operation. I’mma be here at the crib chillin’ for a few days and the doc probably won’t release me to return to work until next week. As much as I’d like to sit here and surf the net for a few hours, I’mma bout to take my Black azz to bed and get some rest. Hopefully this soreness in my stomach will decrease as I take these antibiotics and pain killers. I look forward to being pain free after I heal from this. To find out on Tuesday that I had gallstones and then to have surgery within 5 days to remove my gallbladder still seems unreal to me. I’m just glad that the Lord shined his light down on me and allowed me to find out what was one of the causes of the pain that I’ve been dealing with. When I have more energy, I’ll come back and talk about exactly I went through from the time I walked into the hospital Friday night (after the Wizards-Knicks game) to the time when they released me. Anyway… I’m bout to get in this bed and since I can’t eat solid foods I’mma eat more Jello, more Chicken broth and more lemon Italian Ices.

The Diagnosis

wow… things in my life have changed dramatically the past few days. I went into ER at PG Hospital on Tuesday night cuz I couldn’t deal with the pain in my chest and on the right side of my stomach. After waiting around for close to 4 hours the doctors finally saw me. After running a number of tests including x-rays and a sonogram they determined that I was suffering from not just from the electrocution, but I also from gallstones. As I lay on the examining table, I’m thinking to myself “What the fuck!?” Anyway, they showed me the results of the sonogram on my stomach which showed these little pebbles in my stomach. Okay, so after they diagnosed me, they gave me some Percocet and sent my azz home.

FAST FORWARD

I went and saw the general surgeon this afternoon about my situation. I expected him to recommend surgery based upon what the doctors said back in the ER. Well, what I didn’t expect was that he was gonna tell me that I needed to have the procedure done ASAP… as in tonight!!!!! Yes, I’m having my gallbladder taken out tonight. Now of course I have to be ghetto about things right? He wanted me to come to the hospital at 7pm and i told him that I had to take care of some personal business and could be at the hospital around 10pm. Well my personal business is really my visit to MCI Center for tonight’s Wizards-Knicks game. I’ve got some good azz seats and I’m not tryna miss this game. I’m like “Shit, I’ve been in pain this long, a few hours aint gonna kill me”. So as soon as the basketball game is over, I’m going to the hospital to have my gallbladder taken out. I hope and pray that this relieves a lot of the pain that I’ve had for the past few months. I had no clue that I had gallstones, but now I know that I need to eat a lil’ bit healthier. The procedure is called Laparoscopic Gallbladder Surgery and the doc gave me some documentation to read before I arrive tonight.

I’m only gonna be in the hospital for one night and should be back in the crib tomorrow afternoon. But because I don’t know how I’m gonna be feeling for the rest of the weekend after surgery, I’ve gotta sell my Eagles-Skins tix for the game on Sunday night. I was kinda looking forward to going to the game, but in this case I’ll put my health first. I called my man Todd and he said he would come get the tix and gimme the money for em, so at least I can sit home with the cash and watch the game. I’m still somewhat in shock about the turn of events the last few days. I never expected to be going into surgery Friday night to have my gallbladder taken out. I do realize now that God heard my prayer and has allowed theses things to happen in my life. I’m so happy about the truly knowing now where a great deal of my pain originated from. Now I’m just say one more prayer for the Lord to guide Dr. Saaid during my surgery tonight.

This pain in my chest!!!!!

What else is new???? I awake out of my sleep cuz I feel like I’m having a fuckin’ heart attack!!!!!! I’m trying to breathe normally, but this shit hurts like hell!!!! As customary, I reach over to the nightstand and take my pick of narcotics at my disposal. I get up and grab a glass of water to wash it down with and then I paced the floor for a few moments in attempt to regain full feeling in my right leg. Again I re-live the electrocution in my head and do my best not to be frustrated. I sit down at my computer desk and begin to surf da net. Gotta check my fantasy football team to see if I’mma win this weeks match-up ya know. Hey, in summa these leagues I gotta lotta $$$$ on the line and have anxiety about winning. I figured I’d burn the copies of Shark Tale & The Incredibles that I dl’d from my bootleg sources and put em on DVD’s so I can watch em later on. I then burned the new Ashanti joint to a CD after I did the movies. I’m just trying to sit here until the pain simmers down a bit, or until I fall asleep. I’m doing my best not to get frustrated this time, but the thoughts of ‘quick fix’ to end all of my pain does cross my mind.

In the midst of this selfish thought, I see the face of my Mom. The face of the woman who’s given every ounce of love that any person in this world could ask for. I hear the prayers of my Mom asking God to help me with this illness. I see the smile on my Mom’s face and feel the warmth of her touch as she hugs me and tells me that she knows that I’m going through a lot with this pain, but to not give up. I start to think of my nieces who I love so much. The lil’ girls that make me light up when I hear them holler out “Hey Uncle Greg“. I think of my brother and sister who look up to me and who view me as a rock of support, never truly knowing that I feel like crumbling each moment that the intense pain strikes my body. I think of my Dad, who truly is supportive of me but not been around enough to really see the pain that I feel, but only hears me talk about it via long distance during our weekly conversations. I’m far from suicidal, but this pain makes me contemplate my existence. It makes me really ask God why I was kept alive after that accident. I dunno why, but I struggle daily with thoughts of frustration and anger. I really do try to think positive and I suppose if thinking about the people in my life that I love will help me make it through the day, then well… that’s what I gotta do.

*wipes tears from eyes and tries to go back to sleep*




Subtle Thoughts

Aiiight look… I’m bout to step out here and express my thoughts openly and honestly on this website. I’m somewhat hesitant to put all my information out here for the whole world to see, but hey what is there to lose? I love to write and I think that this experience can be a therapeutic one for me.